Havoon
al’aaf presents a series of mini-masterclasses on WHY YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED
TO WORK THINGS OUT FOR YOURSELF … the key to unlocking &
navigating your path to his bank account.
Designed
to facilitate bringing your pin numbers and bank account pass words out of your
head and into the real world – Havoon presents some of his finely tuned
processes and games to Decrease substantially the levels of your bank balance
and make sure you are donating from a 100% inspired and empowered current
account surplus. Helping people to take their personal donations to the next
level and beyond, Havoon’s mini-masterclasses offer the usual recipe of total
bollocks dressed up as some spurious scientific stuff and top tips to encourage
people to marvel at his own success. He will convince you that all he says
is absolutely true because he has a white coat and a clipboard.
Havoon is now leading uniquely transformative workshops and one-on-one
sessions. Drawing from the richly diverse wisdom, techniques and processes he
has encountered during his ground-breaking work on the donut stall in the
foothills of the Himalayas, he is weaving these creative techniques and
exercises to spark both Personal account and credit card breakthroughs.
The Ring of Truth
The talks
include an overview of the history, science and practice of both the Europe
jam-filled doughnut and US ring donut traditions and instructions on how to
engage the wider holistic benefits of charlatanism and conscious avoidance of
anything with the ring of truth which these practices offer. See how possible it is to believe something
because it was posted to you by a friend of a friend on facebook. And how much
easier it is to believe stuff when you don’t have to think about where it came
from or whether it makes any sense at all.
This is where Havoon had his unique insight. He will affirm that all this rubbish is true
and you merely have to repost it and just accept it as fact. After you have
completed a fortnight’s Juice Diet as part of the regime he will email you a
certificate that you can print on the best paper you can find. This proves that you have been experienced
the first stage of transformation into Certified Mug status.
Manifest
your Memes
See how it is possible to manifest your ill thought
out and ridiculous ideas into the real world simply by the power of thought.
See how by simply joining hands around a field designated for a Fracking well
spiritually aware people have caused tap water to flow green even though no
drilling has actually taken place. See
how possible it is to believe that the sky is being deliberately poisoned by Chemtrails
merely by ignoring the obvious fact that if you fill up all those aeroplanes with tanks
of chemicals you would have no room for the passengers or the fuel. Duh. What
Havoon doesn’t want you to know is that if you spent half as long studying
physics, Chesmistry and Biology as the hours you spend reposting all this stuff
you would actually find out a great deal more about the inner workings of your
mind and you wouldn’t keep falling for all that nonsense. However it’s better
for him that you don’t so keep reposting those memes guys.
Here are some quotes for you to repost:
"Hey, this guy is really on to something" – Albert
Einstein
"What?" – John Lennon
"Haven’t got a clue" – Sigmund Freud
"The Truth?
You can’t handle the truth" – the Dalai Lama
"Religion is where a bunch of people believe
unthinkingly in what their messiah says. What I say to my followers is the
truth. No really, it is. Honestly. Trust me I’ve been on the tele" – Richard
Dawkins
Soon
after he started teaching, Havoon received the traditional Tibetan
“authorisation to make donuts” from his teacher Lama Rama Ringdong, which was
not only a great honour to have received, but also a valuable seal of approval
from such a highly regarded Charlatan.
- He will share his own
experience of donut making to inspire you with the confidence that anyone
can enter the acutely impoverished state.
- He will explore his
groundbreaking ‘torusological’ philosophy that will help you become
conscious of the spiritual shallowness of your being, and also exploitatively
embrace your vulnerable humanity.
- He will invite you to
directly experience the wonderful oneness and all-embracing love that
naturally arises when we hand over our cash to him
He is
best known for his groundbreaking work on the Wonderful World of Facebook
including The Mystery is Why the heck Does Anybody Believe this Stuff
in the First Place?, and You
only have to look it up on Snopes which never made it to the top 10 best-seller in
the UK and USA, and nor did it become ‘Book of the Year’ in the UK Daily
Telegraph. He runs Stupidity Experience Retreats internationally, during which
he personally guides participants to hand over their wallets.
Obviously you will believe everything he says
because he’s much cleverer than you are and you really can’t be arsed to find
out the truth even if it’s only looking it up a bit on Wikipaedia.
He is pioneering an accessible new way to experience a profound bank balance
awakening, which fully embraces our tender, vulnerable, flawed humanity. He has
spent his life exploring the awakened state he often simply calls the ‘
Where did all my savings go? experience
’ and is able to guide others directly
to it.
He is the founder of The Society for Exploiting Poor Suckers in Society, (SEPSIS),
an organization dedicated to our collective bamboozlement.